This is really emotional post for me to write. It is a message to my younger self. What I wish I could have heard to help me through the rough times when I really did feel like I was alone in the dark. I write this for anyone who is going through this now.
All those days when you can barely lift your head or get up from your sofa or bed. All those days when the sun is shining outside but it seems so dark inside because you don’t have the energy to join the world outside. The days when you read the same paragraph over and over again but it just doesn’t go in. The days when you have to cancel plans again because there is just no way you can manage them. The days when the physical and emotional pain is so bad you are desperate for relief or distraction but you can’t sleep despite the exhaustion. The days when you feel such utter frustration that you can’t do what you think you should be able to do. The days when you think nothing is getting any better.
I had a loving family, as I do now, who were there to cook for me, talk to me and so much more. I still felt alone in the dark a lot when I felt my worst. The thick fog of fatigue that sucked all the life out of me.
What would I say to the younger me? I wouldn’t give advice. I wouldn’t try and fix anything. I would just say ‘here, give me your hand and I will hold it. I’m here with you, I know how you feel.